It all started with a wish in the dark..I told a co-worker, “I’m going to see Alice Cooper in concert this year even if I have to travel a long distance to do it! He’s not getting any younger you know?” But the “Prince of Darkness” heard my pleas and low and behold he came to me! I only had to travel a distance of 5 miles! The show really wasn’t well publicized, I heard about it through customers who were buying a Rob Zombie CD from my job (and there was great rejoicing). Not only was the crowned king of shock rock coming to town, but he was bringing one of my favorite of his modern minions with him, Rob Zombie!

I got my ticket the day they went on sale and held onto it for almost two months til the blessed day arrived! I took off work, so my brother, Lucid, and one of my besties, Julie, and I could get good and shnockered at Billiards next door to the venue, before the show. Mission fucking accomplished!! We were good and wasted (but not without a designated driver arranged, Springfield P.D.). Then there was alcohol in the venue too (among other things, Springfield P.D.)!!

Without further adue, Alice opened the show wearing his signature “Welcome to My Nightmare” attire, (white sparkly tux coat with top hat and cane) belting out the lyrics to his infamous “School’s Out!” I was astonished how many theatrical tricks he can still pull out of the old hat!! He strangled a sexy nurse whose zombie corpse later took revenge, hanging him from the gallows. He was beheaded and pierced through with swords in a magician’s cabinet! Nobody dies like Alice!! It was an amazing experience just to be in the same room with a rock n’ roll icon and feel the energy he still exudes after all these years. His voice is just as powerful and mesmerizing as ever!

Rob Zombie came on like a juggernaut, pulling out all the stops! His portion of the show was a barrage of old horror movie clips, bosomy women and giant robots, a veritable feast for the senses. I had a near joy-gasm when I recognized the intro to my favorite Zombie tune, “Dragula.”

One of darqpress’ models was pulled onto the stage with a friend and talked out of her top! I missed it going to the lobby on a beer run, priorities, hee hee. Rob Zombie came out into the audience and walked right past Julie and I, close enough to have touched him (he’s lucky we didn’t notice, cause Jules would’ve done more than touch him haha). They also recorded some footage at the show for a music video for his new song “Mars Needs Women.” A giant robot with bugged out eyes rolled onto the stage thrusting his pelvis to which Rob shouted, “this robot will fuck anything!”

Zombie’s performance was outlandish and awesome as expected! He closed the show with his own version of Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out” and a ton of feathers dumped on us from above (thank God they weren’t preceded by gallons of hot tar)! Trying to sum up the phenomenal close of the show to my co-workers the next day, remembering the flashing pentagrams, moshers flailing and feathers flying everywhere, I could only describe it as “a huge satanic pillow fight!”

My only complaint had nothing to do with the show itself, but rather the venue. I cringed when I found out it was going to be held at the Shrine Mosque because the sound is always a little muddy, its like an oversized highschool gymnasium, and in my experience, at least a few members of the staff are always rude. My brother was accosted by security and bodily carried out early in the show, we still don’t know what for and no explaination was offered. The summation of the treatment I’ve come to expect there occurred on our way out, one of the guys working the door actually laughed out loud when a man’s wheelchair overturned and dumped him on his face on the way down the ramp of the building. I told him he was a soulless asshole for laughing at that, but he continued cracking up about it, instead of offering to help, (while show goers hoisted the guy up and righted him in his chair). All in all, I’d say a big thumbs up to the Gruesome Twosome tour and a big thumbs down to the venue.

Even though the movie was a box office disappointment, only grossing $6.8 million it’s opening weekend, I thoroughly enjoyed Jennifer’s Body (and yes, that may be the straightest thing you’ll ever hear me say). I fully expected another predictable horror flick that takes itself way too seriously and rehashes one of the same old tired plots I’ve seen a thousand times before. I am a horror snob! It’s my favorite genre, but I am so rarely satisfied by Hollywood’s modern offerings. Jennifer’s body is classified by Wikipedia as a “black comedy horror.” The term aptly applies. I love black comedy, but it’s such a razor’s edge for a writer to balance when writing a story that’s both funny and scary that too often the end result is neither funny nor scary, but just 2 hours of awkward and disturbing. I felt like the film’s writer Diablo Cody (writer of Juno!) and director Karyn Kusama pulled off the balancing act masterfully.

The movie grabs your attention right off the bat with talk of demons and a teenage girl beating the living shit out of orderlies in a mental instituton. It’s actually the demonized teenager, Anita “Needy” (Amanda Seyfried) who’s narrating the story from the asylum. As beautiful as Megan Fox is, I was happy to realize she was a major player in someone else’s tale and not the lead character in the film, herself. If you are a fan, however, there’s some pretty hot stuff in this film without seeming like exploitation of her good looks was their only motivation for making it.

Megan’s character, Jennifer, the popular flag girl, takes her long time friend Anita to see Low Shoulder, a struggling Indie band. The band kidnaps Jennifer after the show and sacrifices her to Satan, (using a ritual they found on the internet, ha ha) hoping for a little infernal help to boost their popularity. While the ritual seemed to be a success, the band failed to realize that Jennifer didn’t fit the primary criteria for a virgin sacrifice, yeah, she was so not a virgin. That one small, ovelooked detail caused a succubus to resurrect and inhabit the girl’s corpse. The next day Jennifer’s back at school with a vengeance, literally, needing to feed on flesh to sustain her new she-devil form. Meanwhile, the band capitalizes on a tragic fire that they caused, at the backwoods bar they were playing at that night, by writing a tear-jerker ballad that tops the charts (as an anthem of support for the grieving town).

There are plenty of smart laughs in the film, but not to the point of distraction from the creepy scenario that the storyline plays out in. It actually is kinda scary. My usual spot-on predictions were misdirected by the film’s pleasant unpredictability in spots. The film climaxes (huh, huh, I said climax) with a kick-ass ending that made me almost wish for a sequel!

Jennifer’s Body is worth seeing and so is Megan Fox’s (if you’re into that sort of thing). Color me pleasantly surprised!

After Halloween: Resurrection was released, I had given up on the Halloween franchise. What used to be a carefully shot, expertly timed thrill had been reduced to a laughable parody worthy of a Golden Raspberry Award. Upon hearing of Rob Zombie’s plans to remake the franchise in his image, I was startled. At the time, I hadn’t seen House of 1,000 Corpses or The Devil’s Rejects, so the only exposure I had to Mr. Zombie was his music. I found it difficult to translate the imagery and atmosphere of his music into film, let alone a character I was as familiar with as Michael Myers. I was understandably skeptical until I saw the teaser. The tone of the trailer was familiar, accurate, but most importantly, good! I began to think that if anyone could revitalize Haddonfield, it was this Robert Zombie fellow.

And then, I saw the movie.

Rob Zombie’s Halloween is easily one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. The focus on young Michael was distracting, as was the casting. It also sucked away everything creepy about the character…it gave him a (bad) reason to return as a hulking psycho killer. I couldn’t help feeling as if this whole film was Rob Zombie’s shameless attempt at some sort of catharsis, inserting himself into the movie as young Michael just to vent his own childhood rage. It felt cheap and flavorless. To be quite honest, I could go on for hours about how terrible this movie was. Lucky for you, however, this is not a review of Halloween.

The trailer for Halloween II debuted on the Internet. Instead of approaching the feature and advertising surrounding it with cautious optimism as I had the first, I dismissed it entirely. I was convinced it would be utter trash. However, as a horror fan, I was essentially obligated to give it a shot. What I saw proved my suspicions incorrect and I’ve never been so happy to be so wrong.

Halloween II begins in a hospital, the setting for the original Halloween II produced by John Carpenter. After some startling imagery (and stunning use of the Moody Blues’ “Nights In White Satin”), our protagonist Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) wakes up, proving the first few minutes to be a dream. This clever fake-out serves as both a successor and an homage to the style and tone of the original sequel, while seemingly pointing out that this is NOT a remake of the previous film entitled Halloween II. From here on out, it’s clear that the story of Michael Myers (Tyler Mane and Chase Wright Vanek) is moving in a brand new direction clear of rehashed and reused material.

The film goes on to establish how Michael’s night of terror has affected the survivors. Returning characters are scarred, both physically and mentally. Dr. Samuel Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) is no longer the vigilante psychiatrist fearlessly chasing after Michael to save Laurie’s life, we’ve known for years. Instead, he has capitalized on his involvement in the tragedy at Haddonfield by writing a book exploiting the privacy of those involved. In this book, Loomis has published a little-known secret about the Myers case: the fact that Laurie Strode is the younger sister of Michael Myers.

Inevitably, nearly a year after the events of the previous Halloween night, Laurie Strode reads the book and finds out who she really is. This triggers her own Michael-esque descent into madness, quietly offering to the viewer that perhaps this madness is a family trait.

The only aspect of this film that rubs me the wrong way is the involvement of Michael’s mother as a hallucination. It allowed for a very clever depiction of Michael as a confused child lumbering around in an adult’s body, but the desperate need to please “Mommy” was far too reminiscent of Jason Vorhees. It was almost tacky, however it was justified in the film’s final scene.

In short, this movie worked. The difference between this movie and Zombie’s original Halloween is nearly as drastic as the difference between his first two movies. Nothing was rushed, everything seemed meticulously planned. It was very tight, very cohesive, very sound…expertly edited! The cinematography was beautiful, the dialog far less campy, the acting very natural, and the emotion very real. I can’t say enough good about this movie and it just goes to show that any franchise can be saved if enough care is put into it.

Here’s hoping the same goes for Freddy!

Tim Burton’s latest offering, as producer, is a total thrill ride! It’s a must see for all you little “darqlings” out there! 9 is a feast for the eyes, as well as, the imagination. It was written and directed by Shane Acker and gathers an all-star cast of voice talent: Elijah Wood, Christopher Plummer & Jennifer Connelly to name a few.

The film is not merely an eye-popping assault on the senses, it also packs a powerful moral punch wrapped in a dizzying array of spectacular characters and nightmarish creatures. However, the message of the film speaks without coming accross as preachy and without suffering any loss of plot. The story line is emotionally charged and refreshingly difficult to predict (though, of course, yours truly figured it out just in time for the crescendo ending).

I enjoyed the use of mystical symbolism that closely associated the main characters, 9 dolls affectionately known by the films creator as “stitchpunks,” with the aspects of the soul on the kabbalistic tree of life (don’t know if the association was purposeful or coincidental, but it was a fascinating comparison for me, nevertheless). One of the stitchpunks, “6,” reminded me of a Jewish Kabbalist. The material he’s made from even resembles the attire of a Jew from a WWII concentration camp and he encourages the others to return to “the source” (Kabbalah?). “6″ wears a symbolic key around his neck and seems to understand the mysteries that “1″ (who obviously represents the church by his papal dress, shuns as dark and forbidden science. The film does appear to wield some heavy handed commentary on the failures and abuses of Christianity (which I thoroughly appreciated).

The dank and dismal, post-apocalyptic setting made me feel right at home. 9 is adequately dark and even scary in parts (enough so that I wouldn’t recommend it for small children – unless they’re a Darqly or an Addams’ child). OK, I may have jumped once or twice, but don’t tell a soul! It is an animated film for adults! Cheers! I hope there are plenty more to follow.

I was also deliberate about seeing the film at 9-ish on 09/09/09. I give 9 three thumbs up; it made me feel like a twisted child again.

Latin Vibe makes the list of my own personal favorite haunts. It’s a gem of a night club with a cozy, but sexy atmosphere. You can hang out at the bar, sit with friends at tall black high tables or just relax on plush black leather couches. Red tapestry curtains and red neon lights adorn black textured walls and the dance floor is surrounded by mirrors so you can see how hot you look while you strut your stuff under dazzling colored lights.

There’s a minimal cover charge and drinks are moderately priced and there are sweet weekly drink specials! The club is 18 and up which makes it an attractive spot for younger adults too. The bartenders are quick and very attentive. The owner, Raul, is a great guy, originally from Chicago and don’t tell anybody, but he used to be a stripper! Just about any night you’re here you’ll see Raul hard at work behind the bar or occassionally still performing or hosting a show. He’s easy to get to know and in no time he treats you like family.

DJ Naveed and Richie Relax are fantastic and rival the DJ’s I’ve heard in other dance clubs in town, spinning a mix of popular dance tunes and house music with their own special twist. They definitely keep the place jumping till closing time!

THE LADIES OF LATIN VIBE

The main attraction at Latin Vibe is undoubtedly the drag shows featured three nights a week: Tuesday night – “Exposed,” Thursday night – “Heat” and Friday night – “Work.” The entertainment is top notch and the ladies of Latin Vibe put their hearts into every show. They’ve really made me come to appreciate drag as an artform with their sultry, lively and sometimes gymnastic routines! Some evenings feature male go go dancers and strippers, (my personal favorites – I think my tips have put some of them through college!).

THE QUEEN OF QUEENS

The “hostest with the mostest,” Miss Casandra Love, frequently hosts the shows, as well as being one of Vibe’s premiere performers. Her riotous, on-the-spot wit and hilarious banter with the audience are always a highlight to the evening!

It’s not just for gay or bisexual people, Vibe is a favorite hot spot for straight people too. The shows are just that good and after the shows, who can resist the call of the dance floor?!

A PERSONAL PLUG

I made my own narrow escape from the proverbial “closet” this year (a story I’ll share with you soon). Having newly “come out,” Latin Vibe was one of the places that made me feel safe to, at long last, be me. Vibe will always hold a special place in my heart because it’s where I met my first love (yeah, I know - ”aaaaaah”).

Latin Vibe is a perfect place to shut out the world, make new friends, dance the night away, feel free to be yourself and, maybe, if your lucky like me, find love.

Latin Vibe Gallery:

 

Era of Diversion

2008

by Lucid S. Darqly

Evol Intent? Who do they think they are? This album is not for people that like drum n’ bass and IDM, this album is for people that like music. Simply put, they have somehow managed to stay true to what they do best, sick rhythms, laid over distorted basslines, with ambient breakdowns…. but wait, there’s tons of great textures going on in this album, that make it a great seperation from the usual expectations of a dnb artist, rich synth lines, 8 bit sounds galore, at times it reminded me more of defragmentation, some tracks are heavy with hip hop influences, metal, even a partial trance track makes it in the mix. Some anti war, and anti political themes are sprinkled nicely over the chaos, showing that even a mostly instrumental group, can still convey a solid point of view.

Their intentions couldn’t be clearer, to make good songs, and not worry about labeling every track, fitting a genre, or a fictitious bpm classification (all drum n bass must fit between 160-170bpm!). They broke the mold, threw it in the corner, and laughed at it, then continued to compose, what I’m guessing was a very fun album to write.

So this album isn’t brand new, it’s my 1st chance to get my grubby hands on it, so it’s new to me, and I’m betting there’s plenty of you that haven’t heard it yet either. Go buy it, listen to it, love it, pray to it, or not, hate it and throw it across the room. After all, this album doesn’t sit well within the confines of what several genre snobs would consider acceptable, which is precisely what allows it to come across as an intellectual entity, free of labeling. Who remembers when there weren’t many genres in electronic music? It wasn’t that long ago. I’ve enjoyed Evol Intent’s work, standing out as a group that defined a point of precision, and amazing production quality within the dnb and IDM genres. What else would a genre defining artist do, but attempt to redefine it?

I waited, shoulder to shoulder, standing room only, with an anxious (and sweaty) crowd in the Outland’s second story “ballroom.” The show was sold out, (thank the rock & roll gods for friends in high places – you rock Brandy & Kaleidoscope!). After the sound check, the band took the stage, wearing their signature masks and the crowd went wild, okay, so did I, a little. Their look is cool, but I appreciated even more that they lost the masks after the first couple of songs. It was a wise move. It kept the novelty from wearing off and it felt like they were wanting to connect with their fans.

A mosh pit formed and the crowded house was rockin – literally! You could feel the floor moving with the thumping bass and the jumping crowd (I checked to make sure nobody heavy was jumping nearby, no offense, but upstairs floors have quickly become downstairs floors in this district before), but that only added to the adrenaline rush of the experience for me!

 The band managed to sound as good live as they do on CD and that always impresses the shit out of me when a band can pull it off. Unless you’ve performed live, you have no idea how fucking hard that is to do! After the show, the band was cool too. Taking time to talk to fans while they packed up their stuff.

 One observer described their edgy rap/core sound as a cross between Limp Bizkit and Eminem, but I think they’ve achieved a sound and persona all their own and I hope they continue to exude that dark, but humorous appeal. Keep on rockin in the free world Hollywood Undead! I wish you great success!

Thanks to the guys at the Outland for another bad-ass show!

Celldweller
Soundtrack for the Voices in my Head: Volume 1
FiXT
September 5,2008
by Lucid S. Darqly

Revised by Benny Hell

 It’s no secret that I’m quite an avid fan of Celldweller -though to openly say that is something I don’t usually do. Few bands reach into my favorites category, as a result I have followed Klayton’s career since the mp3.com (R.I.P.) days. I remember remixing a song called Symbiont as part of a long running remix contest back then, and listening to Circle of Dust (Klayton’s former “Christian” project). I’m still remixing Celldweller tracks to this day, and I look back fondly on opening for them on two occasions with various old projects I was involved in.

Celldweller is one of the only groups that defy genre by successfully blending Rock, Metal, Trance, Drum n’ Bass -and even classical composition –into one tangible entity. Its inspiring to see the crowd at a show; unsure if they should be moshing, dancing, or just staring at the band in stupefied awe.  As a side note they are a rarity; a band that still believe in putting on a show -ambient tribal drum breaks, spinning guitarists, synced up projection, and odd electronics like the Eyeris(Ed. Note: the Eyeris is a beam controller, not that you care.) –all make their way into a live set, creating a powerful visual experience to accompany the music.

So all that said, it’s no surprise that I was eagerly awaiting a more “official” release of new material. The self titled album was well composed, but was mostly comprised of tracks he had spent years writing and rewriting. For a lot of fans, most of this material was already familiar. With the release of The Beta Cessions, 90% of the material was showcasing the evolution of the songs from the self-titled album. The Beta Cessions offered the different versions he had released throughout the years but there was nothing new on it, except the powerful, emotional track Goodbye. That one song alone made Beta Cessions an album worth adding to my collection.

Soundtrack For the Voices In My Head (Vol. 1) picks up where the digital only releases left off. The sounds are aggressive and fresh. ‘Birthright’ (released previously in digital format) is the one track on the album that stands to the forefront as more of a typical Celldweller song. I should also note, it’s the only track with vocals sans a few layered ambient vocals peppered throughout the album. This will probably keep die-hard Celldweller fans satiated until the new album is released. Which is, as of now, yet to be named(merely called ‘Sophomore‘).  According to it’s Celldweller.com, ‘Sophomore’ is currently being recorded so there’s no definite release date.

All in all, ‘Soundtrack…‘  feels like what the album title implies; a sound track. Several of the songs are remixes, so over time it feels like you’re hearing the same few tracks again and again. That’s not a bad thing, though. I really enjoyed the mixes of ‘Ursa Minor.‘ The distorted drums and odd timing make it memorable, proving you don’t always need vocals to evoke emotion through music. If you are familiar with Celldweller, -and crave some of Klayton’s masterful composition –then defiantly buy this album. Writing as a long-time fan, this is a worthwhile addition to the Celldweller discography.

“Religulous” Is Irreverant Fun!

by Darian Darqly

Ok, this review hits a little close to home or at least close to where I used to live. Believe it or not, yours truly was once a Bible toting, fire breathing, ultra-conservative, preacher of the gospel! Yeah, no shit?! That’s a story in itself, but that’s why I found Maher’s satirical documentary about organized religion to be so entertaining. If you’ve ever taken a nun’s ruler to the knuckles or been the butt of a “you’re going to hell if you don’t stop…” condescending Christian scolding or gotten in trouble for some other bad behavior that makes the baby Jesus cry, you too will appreciate the humor and the sad reality behind this film.

 When you take the literalist Christian perspective out of the pews and into the streets it’s amazing how out of touch with reality it can seem. It’s also amazing how “borderline personality” some of the Christians in the movie seemed: truckdrivers arguing that the female DNA found in the blood on the shroud of Turin (scientifically proven to be a medieval fraud) is evidence that Christianity is true because it means Jesus had no human father and, therefore, was born of a virgin…wtf? This was also part of my issue with the film, though. It seemed to me Maher went for easy prey, interviewing mostly extremists and didn’t really take on any of the intellectual and more sane people of faith who probably come closer to representing the mainstream.

 It was, however, both fun and excruciating to watch Maher discomfort the zealous by posing some very honest, simple questions about their religions, like “do you really believe in a talking snake?” and “Why doesn’t God destroy the devil?” The highlight for me was watching him – dressed like a homeless guy – preaching the extra-terrestrial doctrines of Scientology to a crowd as though he believed them (Ok, when you string them all together like that, it sounds a little crazy)! He’d better be careful. Messing with Scientology is “Risky Business” if you know what I mean. Tom Cruise will bend space and time and get his ass!!

The end of the film, while definitely dramatic, was just fucking creepy! Calling for the destruction of organized religion before it destroys us all, I thought, was a tad over the top, replete with a crescendo of violent imagery and creepy opera music. PLEEEASE! It felt like the hokie scare tactics of a tele-evangelist. Perhaps that’s what he was going for, but any humor in the parrallel would have been lost on average Joe Trailer Park and might have made him piss himself thinking Maher was calling for a widescale church burning campaign.

While not the church’s biggest fan myself any longer, I felt the movie leaned too heavily on Christianity and didn’t spend enough time picking on other religions. In my opinion, his militant appeal comes across less as a “truth seeking” Agnostic, (as claimed in the film), and more like an angry x-Christian, but the aim of the film is in its title, “religulous.” It’s a combination of the words, “religious” and “rediculous.” Maher’s point was to showcase the rediculous side of organized religion and, overall, I would give the film a fair review because, with that goal in mind, I’d have to say “mission accomplished!”