Furbys and the Furby conspiracy in all its Glory.
Kah/way-loh/koh-koh.
Furbys and the Furby conspiracy in all its Glory.
By Scrappy Doo
It’s no surprise that, to this day, a certain furry animatronic creature with large eyes, a beak, and lashes for days still captures hearts and resonates many happy memories in our society. Most parents with children who grew up around the time of Furby’s holiday release date in 1998 probably have many stories to tell of this loveable headache. Personally, I was ecstatic when I received a Furby, and very heart-broken when he was smashed by a hammer only a few months after I got him. Nowadays, it is a rarity to hear of them, and even more rare to see them in any store or even online ordering sites (barring the wondrous, vast array of collectibles and toys that E-bay provides).
So what happened? Where did Furby disappear to? Did they all fly back to the distant cloud from which they fell? Or perhaps, were they purposely euthenized in a slow conspiracy set about by the government we love and trust oh-so-dearly? Perhaps a quick intro to the mechanics of a Furby would give a clue. At least, that’s what my thoughts were as I first started research for this juicy story.
After a quick Google search, it’s easy for anyone to notice how many “scam” and “conspiracy” stories about Furbys (this, not ‘Furbies,’ is the proper spelling, according to Tiger Electronics – the creators of Furby) there actually are. Furby runs on a basic 8-bit processor, giving it little ability to actually “learn” new things, so much as it just accesses certain preprogrammed data streams giving it the ‘illusion’ that it is learning to speak whatever language it is programmed to do so the more time you spend with it (according to http://www.phobe.com ). However, if this were truly the case, then why does the National Security Agency have a ban on Furbys of all kinds from even being on their premises? The government seems afraid that the possibility that this fuzzy robot-esque friend may actually learn to speak based on its surroundings is more a threat to our National security than we assume. As Andrew Marshall from www.independent.co.uk put it, “In other words, having asked endearingly for a cookie, the Furby might then suggest bugging the Russian embassy and intercepting wireless traffic from the Iraqi military.”
If this toy is such a danger, then why – I wonder – do they have such a vast amount of spoofs? Most notably, “Furby Baby and “Gizmo Interactive.” Furby Baby is identical to Furby Adult in almost every way, minus its smaller size, and it’s somewhat higher-pitched and more child-like voice. Gizmo Interactive, on the other hand, is a much more surprising addition to the Furby family. His digital voice is identical to Furby’s, though his vocabulary is much different. And, unlike Baby Furby, Gizmo Interactive was formed thanks to an out-of-court settlement between Tiger Electronics and whoever the hell it is that controls Gizmo’s P.R. The lawsuit was started because of Furby’s striking resemblance to this loveable movie fuzz-ball, Gizmo. But after the settlement, Tiger created, essentially, a Furby with a Gizmo skin covering and new language chip.
Gizmo Interactive and Baby Furby are also banned from the NSA.
Though Furby may no longer have hundreds of its kind on the shelves of your local toy nook, they are still in existence. Ebay may be one’s best chance at snagging one of these loveable “National security risks,” though a few larger toy stores in major cities still carry a couple in stock.
Kah toh-dye. Doo-moh boo loo-loo, o-kay? Kah may-may u-nye! Dah/a-loh/nah-bah.
2 Responses to “Furbys and the Furby conspiracy in all its Glory.”
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furbilcious!!!
my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and damn right,it’s better than your’s.
Your are cool. And so is your site! Awesome substance. Good job guys! Fascinating article, adding it to my favourites!